Reflections on Graduation

from a Parent's Perspective

By Chuck Valleau

It is definitely different from this perspective. The whole graduation thing, that is. I have been thinking about it a lot lately as my daughter will graduate on June 12th with Leland’s class of 2009. While I am experiencing he normal parental pride, there is also a touch of melancholy in reminiscing about the last hirteen years, along with an undertone of being overwhelmed by the flurry of work and activity necessary to get through the graduation process and the requisite celebrations.

I do not remember those feelings associated with my own high school graduation 26 years ago. I remember the joy and relief at making it to such a milestone as well as the anticipation and excitement about what the future would hold. I could not wait to move on to college and new adventures, and while I enjoyed the open houses and celebrations, I did not truly appreciate the efforts my mom and other parents put into those celebrations until recently while making those plans for my daughter.

I also did not consider that while I was movng on to great new adventures, my mom was eft at home with a huge void which my presence and activities had occupied the previous thirteen years. I have been considering this a lot as the past year has flown by.

We moved to Leelanau County when Rhiannon started kindergarten at Leland Public School. Throughout our moves since, I have been grateful that she has been able to stay in her class there and will complete high school with many of those same kids she met in Mrs. Bouckaert’s kindergarten room. Leland is an excellent school and I am very thankful for the wonderful teachers and staff there who have helped to shape my daughter into the capable young woman she is today.

The list of her activities is long, but some of he highlights I remember are the elementary holiday concerts, Girls on the Run 5k, middle school drama productions and her many sports teams over he years. Since seventh grade I have gone to hundreds of basketball, volleyball, and softball games. She has had wonderful coaches who have taught her not only about the sports she played, but about ife in general and how to put forth your best effort n anything you aspire to do.

As I look back through her academic and athletic awards one which stands out to me she won in 5th grade. It was issued by the Leelanau Outdoor Center during their winter camp in 2002. One of their activities at the camp was cross country skiing, and while they were makng the awards I listened as they explained how Rhiannon was having trouble staying upright on her skis and continued to fall over and over, but also continued to get up with a smile and keep on trying. The award reads:

Perseverance Award - Rhiannon Hildenbrandt Leland 5th Grade Winter 2002 Persevere: to continue a course of action in spite of difficulty, opposition, etc. TO BE STEADFAST IN PURPOSE

It is burnished on a nice plaque and while it may not hold the same degree of accomplishment as the diploma she will receive on June 12th, I believe her perseverance award will serve her well as she continues her education and goes on with life. I am very happy that she learned this lesson from teachers, coaches, classmates and staff at Leland.

So as I contrast my own attitude and experience of graduation from the perspective of a parent, opposed to a student, it is helpful to focus on the opportunities and successes she has enjoyed. Lately it has been easy for me to get bogged down with the time and effort which goes into this hectic time of year. And to think of the void which lies ahead which used to be filled with rides to practice, school productions, volleyball matches and softball games. In 1983 when I was ready to graduate I did not have the insight to recognize why some people were sad at graduation time.

As I wrote for our Senior Paper issue of The Black and Gold I talked about how fast time flew by during our senior year. Some things have not changed. I also wrote that I knew there were things that I would miss about high school and things that I would never miss and things that I would learn to miss after weeks, months and years. Today those thoughts seem especially prescient, and I can apply them to Rhiannon’s school career.

When she heads off to Grand Valley in the fall and into an exciting future, I will be left behind. It was more fun when I was the one leaving. But while I think about the fact that she no longer needs me to hold her hand in the parking lot of Burger King with the indoor play place, she will need help in navigating the world of financial aid and other adult obligations. She will also need a “home” to come back to, and it will be my job to maintain that, as my mom did.

So although there is definitely more emotional turmoil from this parental perspective, the pride and joys of her accomplishments far outweigh any efforts which I have put in or which lie ahead. I look forward to watching her persevere, as I know she will, because she has a good education and a solid background.